Practicing Presence

Victoria, my youngest, will be a junior in high school this autumn.  She spent many an hour filling  out admission papers, collecting letters of recommendation from teachers and drafting essays.  She sat on pins and needles for a month or so and was justly rewarded when she was accepted into the Summer Scholars Program at Columbia University in New York City.  Tori will be spending 31/2 weeks taking classes in Public Relations, Advertising and Marketing.  She will see lots of museums and art shows, attend flamboyant Broadway musicals and experience off-Broadway grit and drama.  She is very excited and will undoubtedly have the time of her young life while bringing back many colorful stories to share. 

While I am excited for her there is a part of me that is just a trifle melancholy.  Victoria will experience all of this without her siblings, her father or me.  Up until this point in her life, all of our "adventures" have been holidays shared by the whole or most of the family.  When Victoria returns from NYC, she will have an entire chapter of her life that none of us are a part of in any way.  She is beginning to break out of her chrysalis and her wings will not be far behind. 

My husband and I are accompanying Tori to the East Coast tomorrow morning.  We will spend a week visiting colleges from Boston to NYC.  We will spend a few days relaxing by the sea in Newport RI before we we move her into her dorm room at Columbia and say our goodbyes.  As always, these moments are bittersweet for me.  My family is changing and growing and leaving the nest.  This is as it should be.  While I am  happy and excited for each and everyone of their accomplishments,  I am also a bit sad as I continue to  say goodbye to their childhoods.  Those cozy warm memories will live on in my heart, side by side with this soft ache of grief as I practice staying ever present to the wonderful and fleeting moments at hand.  Presence and practice.  Practice and presence.  What more is there?

Comments

[Jennifer White]

So many changes happening all at once..sounds like you will have a lot crammed in to your trip, but how amazing this will be for Victoria and for you to give her this opportunity...you are an amazing parent and friend Kathy...

xoxoxox

[rivergardenstudio]

It sounds like a beautiful trip for you all and such an adventure for your daughter... I feel your wistfulness and hope you do some wonderful things for yourself while she is away... and special times with your husband too. Roxanne

[Mikeferruggia]

Congratulations to Victoria! Columbia is my alma mater, class of 82, and my niece was in a program there last summer, but not the same one, but had a great time. Columbia is the home of some great teachers past and present, and the spirit of Thomas Merton is there for those who know about him. Hvae fun when you come east!

Mike

[K a b l o o e y]

That's great for her, but I do know what you mean. I wanted to attach a micro-camera when my daughter first went to daycare.

If your daughter needs anything, she can call/email me. I'm an hour away but would love the excuse to go in or just give advice. I'm sure she'll have a blast. Can you guys use skype or something? (I can't, being the technodolt, but maybe you can?)

Anyway, another great post and collage.

[shirley ende-saxe]

How wonderful for your daughter and you too! I understand your sadness, but such happiness will overwhelm that.

I see Artemnesia there! Now there's a woman who explored her world!

[Mikeferruggia]

Hey Kathleen, welcome home. Glad you had a good time in NY. I haven't been up there in a long time. A lot of the neighborhood has changed, some for the better. It's funny that Columbia doesn't have anything comemmorating Merton. There was a small Merton Center at the Catholic Church on 116th Street, I can't remember the name of it right now, but I don't think it's there. I do think Columbia has a Merton day once a year or so. In any event, it's good to know there are a whole lot of fellow contemplatives out there!

Mike