Time is fleeting. Always. We look forward to vacations and holidays and they are gone before we can take the time to really experience them. Even as I strive to stay present and live fully in the now, I can feel the future steadily seeping in, threatening to rob me of the moment as we make our preparations for times yet to come. Victoria is not even a junior in high school but we have completed our first trip to visit possible college choices. Yes we had fun. Lots of fun. While we were there to access decisions for the future, I did my best to stay focused in the present. My moments of quiet communion watching schooners sail silently past my lounge chair in Newport quickly dissipated as we joined the multitudes of people scurrying about Time Square on the way to a Broadway show. Each experience holding its own unique gifts and memories made the others that much more vibrant and alive.
Life is such a paradox. There is always the tension of living on the edge. Chaos and order. Black and white. Night and day. You must have one to have the other. Present and future. They are so intimately interwoven yet each owning its own place in time. Where will we spend our moments, our days? It is always our choice, however difficult the ultimate unraveling may be.
How exciting Kathy....AND bittersweet...the relationship that you have w/ your kids is SO incredible! And w/ that comes all the changes. I always love how you hold the paradox of all of it. And your willingness to write about all of it. It is your heart I always hear in your words. It is your heart that is truly inspiring....
Posted by: Cyndee Greene | July 26, 2009 at 02:08 PM
You know, that's a good point -- that we can't have the "in the moment" without the thinking about the future. Or, couldn't appreciate those moments when we are fully present if that's ALL we had. I'll try to remember that...
Posted by: K a b l o o e y | July 29, 2009 at 11:44 AM
Yes, chaos and order, much like what Nick Bantock taught me last week...(is it over so soon...) My life is both right now as well. I still don't know what school I will work at in September, but I feel strongly that I will love my class as I always have before. And I will be a fighter for the arts... Roxanne
Posted by: rivergardenstudio | August 04, 2009 at 03:59 PM