Kathleen Botsford

Art Imitating Life

This is half of a collage that didn't come out like I wanted.  It's funny how art imitates life in that manner.  You put in all the "right" ingredients you can think of concerning a specific relationship, project or goal and somehow things have a way of re-organizing themselves into just what was meant to be.  Like it or not.  Sometimes I think we have no control what so ever of our lives and its' circumstances.  It is what it is.  And other times I feel the exciting rush of adrenaline as a co-creator of said circumstances.  The trick is letting it all go each minute of every day.  It's going to "go" whether I try to hang on to it or not, so why cause myself any more angst than necessary?  As we all know, that is easier said than done and takes up an entire lifetime of practice.  I'm giving myself a headache.  At least that too shall pass......

This week's give away winner is Ginny at Ginny's chaos.  I will be sending you an email!  Thanks for the comments and support!

Two Winners

I was WAY under the weather last week and took the entire time off from everything; the laundry, cooking, dishes, exercising, blogging, even "wife-ing" (my husband was out of town so that was easy).  Everything except being a mom.  (*see previous post for an explanation)  So this week I randomly picked two commenters to receive a gift.  Their blogs are some of my very favorite places to hang out as are the blogs of my previous winners. 

Mansuetude of Tumbleword and Kablooey.  These woman are amazing and totally unique.  Mansuetude is a poet extraordinaire.  The combination of her prose and her photography will ignite a powerful longing in your soul.  A longing for something ancient and primal.  A remembrance of long forgotten heartaches and poignantly answered prayers.  Go on over and see where she takes you.  You won't be disappointed.

Head over to Kablooey for a sharp witted look at being a mother in this day and age.   Kablooey is unlike any friend I ever had when my children were young but she's my friend now and she is well worth the wait.  Her knack for capturing the irreverent humor in the everyday perils of mothering is astonishing.  I can't remember what I did for entertainment and companionship before I met all my blogging friends.  And they said it wouldn't last!

Auntie Em???

Does this look like Auntie Em to  you?  I know I may be prejudiced but this is definitely the face of Glenda the Good Witch as surely as I am the mother of this beautiful child.  Something seems to have gone amiss in the world of 'High School Musicals' in our neck of the woods.  Suffice to say, Victoria did not get the part she wanted.  She will play Auntie Em and be some sort of angelic voice which I do NOT remember from the movie....(maybe it's in the play or maybe they feel bad and are trying to make it up to her, hmmm?)

Victoria is not the only one in a tizzy.  The two seniors who did get cast as Glenda wanted Dorothy.  They are not happy campers either.  What is a mother to do?  I held her as she cried and cried.  I let her talk about quitting and refusing to be the Aunt of the FRESHMAN Dorothy.  I let her plot and plan to push said freshman off stage at the most apropos moment.  I let her vent and vent and vent.  And then I snuck in a tiny, very infinitesimal, little bitty word......'character'.....and stepped back, way back.

As I held my breath and braced for the indignant reproach we mothers of 16 year old girls are very familiar with, I was met with a surprising silence.  No explosion, no disdain, not even a rolled eye.  So I ventured a little further and reminded her of her brother and his challenges.  How he did not play football at the very same high school that 'seems' to be taking her talents for granted.  And how each Saturday, his former high school teammates sit in dismay as they tune in to see Stevie, bigger than life on national television, a member of  the Notre Dame football team. 

Disappointments are a part of life.  It seems even more heart wrenching when the one being disappointed is your child.  Always, always, we have more opportunities to learn and to grow in this wonderful school room we call 'Life'.....whether we want to or not.

Whew!  Victoria won't be giving up on Broadway just yet. 

Trees with No Name

 I find it very interesting that lately most of my collaging has transpired with text AND without any discernible words.  One of my spiritual 'practices' has been to notice whenever I label something or someone, become aware of said label and any ideas implied and then work to undo the label and let things 'just be.'  And as usual, I get lots of 'practice' with this practice.

I was aimlessly wandering through a book store the other day when I came upon this fabulous looking book  with lots of pictures of trees and their leaves and nuts and seeds.  Magnificent illustrations of the trees and their habitats.  Just the kind of book that puts me over the edge anticipating hours and hours of contented  perusing and study.  I was almost hyperventilating as I leafed through the large tome. 

Suddenly I became aware of just how silly my unquenchable thirst for knowledge really is.  What difference does it make if I know the name of a tree or not?   Does that make the tree any less beautiful and full of life? Does it add to it's 'worth' in any way at all?  I think not.  I gently placed the book back on the shelf and walked silently away.  

This autumn I will enjoy the trees and fauna that cross my path WITHOUT knowing a single thing about them.  I will honor and appreciate their innate and gentle beauty.  I will drink in their quiet strength.  I will become full of their peace-filled essence without having to know one single name or fact.  I will live in my body and not in my head.  And I will continue to practice, practice, practice.

P.S.  Today's "Thank You Giveaway" winner is Roxanne of Rivergarden Studio!  I will be contacting you with details!

Bittersweet Weekend

 

It was a bittersweet weekend.  The Irish lost to USC, our #1 rival, for the 8th time in a row.  A heart breaking loss at that but the whole family was at the game and lots of aunts, uncles and cousins too.  This weekend is another rival of sorts, Boston College.  Lots of family coming in for this game also.  Fall seems to be speeding past in a blur of football, tailgating, pep rallies, parties and dinners.  All fun each in their own rite but no time to stop and savor each individual event, each precious person.  Conversations jumble together.  Family and friends come and go.  It is the nature of the season AND completely against my own inner rythms.

I make a conscious point of keeping my calendar in balance.  Football and the Holidays seem to take on a life of their own and the only solution is to jump on the bandwagon and hang on for dear life.  It is tons of fun if I can stay focused on each day as it arrives and not look down the week to the flurry of activity awaiting us.  That can really overwhelm me.  One day at a time, I take what the Universe has to offer and leave the rest for future consumption.  I gets lots of practice in this area but the rewards of inner peace while in the midst of apparent chaos are well worth it.  

Oops!  Now the laundry is a different matter all together......

Drum Roll Please!

Today is my first 'Thank you Give-Away' drawing.  Drum roll please...............and the winner is......wait.......It's a tie!  Debbie W from Four Angels Momma and Jennifer from Wishful Thinking.   Hurray!  I will contact both of you privately to arrange the details.  Thank you for your support and wonderful comments as well as sharing your lives with me.  You are truly appreciated.

On to ordinary news; last weekend was a blur of activity with the kids in town and lots of fun.  We saw the new Vince Vaughn movie.  He is one of Stevie's favorites and the movie was cute, but well worth the price of admission to sit next to Stevie and listen to him laugh at Vince.  His laugh fills the entire theater.  I love it!

Alex's flight arrived Saturday morning at  9 and her return flight left at 9 Sunday evening.  The picture above is from the lunch we all shared on Saturday before Stevie had to head back to school.  Schedules and commitments, bah humbug!  Alex may not make it home for Thanksgiving and will miss our extended family Christmas celebration the weekend before Christmas.  Times are changing.  All I can do is take one day at a time and appreciate their presence when it is present.  And that is my spiritual practice.  Being present.   It may be simple, but try it sometime.  It definitely takes practice. 

Boy Meets World

Last weekend we were at our usual Friday night restaurant in South Bend with friends and family when Stevie showed me a photo of his cousin taken with two playboy bunnies.  Seems his cousin had been invited to the Playboy mansion in LA for a party and had his picture taken with these winsome wenches.   As the story goes,  he actually had a date with one of them the next night.  Needless to say, all of the young (and not so young) men at the table thought it a fabulous good fortune and were busy dreaming of their day in the bunny spotlight.  Stevie (who loves to tease the #$@% out of me) pips up with "Hey Mom!  How about if I bring a couple of bunnies home for Christmas?  Can they sleep in my room with me?"  As we bantered back and forth good-naturedly, it was with a wistful sigh I realized my son is indeed a young man, ready and willing to take his place in the big world.

Earlier this week I was getting one of Stevie's suits ready for the cleaners and a consistent "jiggling" sound thwarted my attempts to empty the pockets.  Finally I slipped my hand into the inside chest pocket in search of the errant "coins."  How surprised was I as I pulled two medals out of Stevie's coat pocket.  One of St. Michael the Archangel and the other of St. John.  Yes, my "little" boy is gone but there is a sensitive and strong young man who has taken his place.  He may dream of Playboy bunnies but he is aware also of a deeper, truer Power, beyond his ego and this materialistic world we live in.

Isn't life funny?  In one hand She is constantly thrashing us with opportunities to "let go" and at the same time Her other hand  gracefully gives us gifts of unspeakable joy.   

Fall Homecoming

It's a blustery fall afternoon here in Chicago.  It's cool and rainy.  Just how I like it.  I have the candles lit and the fireplace roaring.  A pot of spaghetti sauce is simmering away on the stove top.  Everyone is coming home this weekend!  Alex is homesick and coming in on Saturday morning to spend a mere 36 hours with her family and friends.  Coach Weiss has given the football players the weekend off too.  Stevie gets home Friday afternoon.  We have lunches planned and family dinners.  Of course there will be football.  Lots of football.  A fall weekend with the three little birdies all back in the nest.  Momma is a happy camper!

Fading Summer Days

This is the first autumn weekend I have had the luxury of staying at home.  Notre Dame is playing "away" and Stevie will not be dressing.  My husband is in LA and the house is nice and quiet.  Victoria is in her room studying for an AP Bio test and I have decided to break out the fall decorations.  But first, I wanted to take a few shots of the "summer" house before I pack her away for another year.

The first thing I notice when I look at these photos is that every room in my home is filled with the same things.  Family photos, books and art.  Some of the art is of a decidedly "religious" tone and some of the art appears to be secular when you first glance at it.  But even the "secular" art is sacred.  Paintings of nature and women adorn our walls with very few exceptions.  These are the images and symbols that make our home feel safe and holy.  A sanctuary to return to when the day is done.  A place for renewal and retreat.  I love surrounding myself and my family with objects that reflect the divine.  Little alters everywhere to remind us on a daily basis what is "real" and what is "illusion" in this fast moving world we live in. 

I have been visiting a few "decorating and life style" blogs lately and have been inspired to add a new album to my side bar.  Now if I can slow down long enough to figure that out......

Interior Explorations with Carl Jung

As I am preparing for a SoulCollage workshop on Thursday, I have immersed myself in the writings of Carl Jung.  Jung was a cutting edge scientific explorer of the interior life.   Jung believed a person's inner life merited not just attention, but deep exploration.  Jung thought of the psyche as  "inherently spiritual and fluid as an ocean that could be fished for enlightenment and healing." 

I too have been fascinated by the interior life for most of my years.  While I have spent a good deal of time investigating and getting to know myself and what makes me "tick", the last few years have spontaneously eased into a softer, more organic kind of exploration.  I began to keep "sacred journals" a few years ago and these journals have been the catalyst for deep catharsis and self-knowledge.   Jung kept a "sacred journal" also.  He called it "The Red Book".  Jung believed the soul speaks to us in images and symbols.  Jung's Red Book is filled with images and symbols gleened from deep within his psyche.  My journals are also filled with the images and symbols that speak to me, my personal and intimate dialogue with the Divine.   Jung's journal is set to be published next month and a captivating article recounting the long journey can be found in the New York Times.

"I should advise you to put it down as beautifully as you can - in some beautifully bound book - It will seem as if you were making the visions banal - but then you need to do that - then you are freed from the power of them....  Then when these things are in some precious book you can go to the book and turn over the pages and for you it will be your church - your cathedral - the silent places of your spirit where you will find renewal.  If anyone tells you that it is morbid or neurotic and you listen to them - then you will lose your soul - for in that book IS your soul."     *Carl Jung's advise to a client.

Yes, Carl Jung was a visionary.  His work continues to guide the interior explorer on the most treacherous,  yet greatly rewarding journey of their life.  The journey IS their life.