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June 26, 2008

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I have to chime in. It IS a mystery!

Enjoy every moment and then replay them in your head over and over later. That's what I do. Maybe the constriction is worrying that it's not going to turn out sometime after this fairy tale perfect time, that there is some bad hiding and waiting somewhere in the future. Remind yourself that there is only NOW.

Sure, there is a lot to lose, but you have no control over any of it. It's his heartbreak to feel, not yours, and he is ready for the experiences even if some of them turn out to be painful. Remember when you were younger, you were eager and ready too do almost anything? Tell him about the "power of words to command events and time". That's what you can do with what you know. Revel in the contribution you have already made to your daughters and experience how amazing there are without combining it with loss or sadness.

Sometimes I feel sad because THEY are so young. I was young once! Where did that go? I used it I guess, and being older isn't bad. It just takes getting used to. I also feel like the summer is slipping away and then I look at the calendar and my kids have only been out of school for about 2 weeks. Sheesh, even they are saying it's going fast. What happened to the times when it seemed things moved more slowly and nothing ever happened and we had to think of something to do?

Kathleen, that's why I named my daughter Grace - as a reminder to myself.

It's all going so well. Don't dwell on your tears. Feel them and move on. There are even better experiences in store if you are willing to have them.

Catherine

Catherine,
Thanks for your kind words of wisdom. I was feeling a bit melancholy these past few days and had to get it out on the page. My life is so full of joy with my kids but it is winding down. Things will change and everyone will be fine. Such is life, endless changes moving us forward whether we are ready or not! Some days I am ready and some days I'm not! Thank you for your listening ear and advice! P.S. Love my earrings!

Dearest Kathy,
I certainly feel you. You are at a crossroads my friend, a rites of passage actually...and that's not easy. I can understand your...dare I say mixed emotions...about wanting time alone even though your children are with you now. So much is in your face, the inevitability of this change, and the joy they bring to each moment; plus the memories...and now the mystery.

The alone time you crave could be Spirit's way of allowing you to gradually accept and integrate all of this bit by bit, instead all at once when they're gone. It's like when a rocket returns to the earth's atmosphere, pieces of it have to break away "before" it can make it's re-entry to earth. So it is with you (possibly), some alone breakaway time might be needed, and beneficial, in order for your heart & soul to process and fully inhabit your current days with them. I know this is not easy, but Spirit will show you how (I know you know this). Keep surrendering, and allow the pieces - and the tears - to fall away in your alone time; it could make the next moments with your children all the sweeter...and your heart a little lighter. I'm here for you.

Blesings, Love...and Echos of Grace to you my dear friend,
Cheryl

Dear Kathy,

Thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving me such a thoughtful and lovely comment! I am so glad that Cheryl(who I adore) sent you over to me because you seem like a kindred spirit.

Like you, I crave my time alone which is interesting considering that I chose to have four children. As my girls have gotten older, I have been able to take more time for myself. I find that this makes me a better parent, spouse and friend because I allow myself to take the time that I need to recharge. It is so important to strike that balance between being what we need to be for the people we love, and being who we need to be for ourselves.

I am looking forward to reading more of your posts. Your writing style is beautiful and I think that we have a lot in common.

Be well!

Hugs,
Debbie

Kathy, Your writing is so beautiful. Your thoughts echo those of mothers everywhere. This is my first summer at home, alone for many years, my 15 year old has a job working with my husband for the Forest Service. I miss him, though he is very happy. It is a time for me to discover myself in a new way. Thank you for sharing such a heart felt message... Roxanne (I lost your blog for awhile but have now bookmarked it!)

Stopping by to read more of your very inspiring blog. Hoping that all is well with you and your wonderful family.

Hugs,
Debbie

Thank you so much for the very insightful and soothing comment that you left for me on my blog. Your kind words truly do help. I will read them when I am feeling uncertain.

Hoping that you are having a wonderful summer!

Hugs,
Debbie

Oh my, Kathleen... it's almost like you've crawled into my head! Trust me, girl, you are not alone in those feelings you expressed... I feel so conflicted so often that it's frightening sometimes! Your words are heartfelt and appreciated. All my best, Kathy.

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