Kathleen Botsford

Gentle peace

I have enjoyed a lovely day.  It is after 3p.m. and I am still in my jammies.  I have not turned on the television so I am aware of no new crisis or disaster.  My dog is sleeping next to me as I type.  I await the phone call summoning me to pick up my youngest daughter, Tori, from school.  They are casting the high school musical and she was "called back".  She may be the lead or she may not receive a part at all.  As of this moment, I am happy, content and at peace.  No drama to concern me, no trauma to consume me.  As much as I would like to stay in this gentle space always, I know I will again be buffeted with the many challenges that await us all in our daily rounds.  Traffic, illness, money woes, death.  The list goes on and on.  There will always be a list.  And there will always be a choice, however difficult that may appear at times.  

There's the phone.  Another opportunity to practice, practice, practice.

Don't go to Sleep!

Another fun weekend at college.  This time at Alexandra's college in Bloomington Indiana, home of Indiana University.  The campus was beautiful, fall colors crowding each other, all vying for attention.  Warm temps and lots of friends, parents and students, partying and enjoying life.  My son, Stevie, drove down from Notre Dame.  We were once again blessed with the entire family together.  Laughter mixed with teasing and stories as new college friends were welcomed into our growing family circle.

As much as I love being a part of the kids lives at school and getting to know their friends, I still long for the times when the five of us can be together on our own.  Watching all three of them as they laugh and sing, tease and banter, warms my "mother's" heart.  Full and happy I follow along, game for anything, just to be together with my family. . 

 As I sat in the car on our journey home, watching the vibrant colors race past the window, I wondered if I will ever get used to this letting go of the way things were.  It may be this acute awareness of the brief and transitory nature of our lives is a good thing.  It may be this  gentle tension which has become a frequent visitor of mine will be the catalyst that keeps me ever more firmly planted in the present of each and every day.  The knowing that these days are passing all too soon, just as the colors of the leaves brighten the autumn skyline as if to tell us;  Be Awake!  Take no moment for granted!  This time of beauty is fleeting.  Stay awake!  Don't go to sleep!  

Finding Serenity

Sometimes we need tension.  Dynamic tension to get things done, to create and accomplish.  And sometimes we just need to sit and be still.  Today is one of those days when I want to rest.  To sit in the crisp early autumn air and listen to the rustle of the leaves as they race each other on their journey to their inevitable end.  To sip tea and let my thoughts go.  It feels so good to let them go, not to think, to be still in mind as well as body.  But that is not my option today.  Lot's of errands and commitments, dinner to make and driving to be done. 

Some days I long for loads and loads of laundry.  Doing laundry can be so cleansing and meditative in a simple and solitary way.  But that is not my option today either. 

I will find serenity in my travels today.  It may not be where I would prefer to look for it, but I will find it none the less.  A quiet car.  A stranger's smile.  The laughter of friends.  The face of my child.