It's hard for me to accept my imperfections. I know I am only human AND I still feel I am "not enough" just as I am more times than I would like to admit. This feeling of "not being enough" is deep in my bones. I was 15 months old when my mother had my sister. Five brothers followed, some less than a year apart. I never felt I had enough of my mothers attention AND I thought it was my fault. We all have our stories from childhood that continue to influence our lives now. Being aware of the "stories" is part of the answer. Realizing they are only "stories" and can have no power over us in the present is our mission if we choose to accept it. I like to know where some of my "issues" originate. It helps me to understand myself on a deeper level. It helps me to understand what drives me and what fears I am running away from. It's like a giant puzzle and the prize for the long, brutal work is self-acceptance and hopefully self-love.
When I visited Delphi, the inscription over the entrance to the Oracle read "Know Thyself". I buried a talisman at the foot of the Temple of Athena Pronaia with a promise to continue my spiritual quest for the healing of myself and through me all of my ancestors and future generations in all directions of time. My entire family and all of those to come will be impacted by my actions. It's the ancient parable of dropping a pebble in a lake and watching as all of the ripples continue to expand and expand and expand. Each of our lives touch so many more than we can know and in ways that may seem unimportant. That is the illusion. We are all connected to each other. We are One, now and forever.
i have just stumbled upon your blog and feel as though we are living the same life.
(well, that's exaggerating), but i'm amazed at the similar thoughts and experiences.
thanks for sharing your beautiful stories, thoughts, raw truths and art.
i'm glad to have found you here today.
in peace and gratitude.
kim
Posted by: kim beller | January 05, 2009 at 11:59 AM
I love this post. Especially the part about creating stories...so true. Thank you for the heads up on Elizabeth Lesser being on Oprah. My dream is to attend workshops someday at both Omega and Kripalu.
Posted by: susan greene | January 05, 2009 at 12:33 PM
Beautiful. All of your artwork has a very special feeling and look that is all Kathleen. It is enough, too. :) And then some.
Posted by: Lisa | January 07, 2009 at 05:31 PM
Okay, number one, could you come to Mayberry and teach me to collage? I am always so admiring of your work. Mine seems to drift, but yours has a crispness and coherence that I admire.
Number two, you just hit upon my two favorite concepts. At the risk of sounding cheesy, my favorite movie is "It's a Wonderful Life" and the central message is "each of our lives touch so many more than we can know." I. Believe. This. And the other concept is we are one. Yes! In fact, this is my concept of God. One.
Love this post!
Posted by: Mayberry Magpie | January 07, 2009 at 06:44 PM