Today is Valentines Day. We give gifts and go to romantic dinners. We send flowers and cards and purchase huge and elaborately wrapped boxes of candies. All in the name of love. While this is basically fine and hopefully no one takes it too seriously, our society likes to put tidy little packages around everything. Love included. This "Hallmark" holiday, as my husband refers to it, gets blown way out of proportion with more than a few broken hearts and wallets strewn in it's wake.
How many times did I wait for the Valentine card or the bouquet of flowers in my younger years? How many times did I assume my husband did not love me because he refused to play this silly game? Back then I didn't think it was so silly. I wanted flowers and a card proclaiming his love. He refused. He said everyday with him was Valentines day. I pouted and tried to understand but I was as mesmerized by the hype as most young wives.
I am hopefully more mature now. I look at love a lot differently than I did then. Love is not about how much my husband does for me or how he makes me feel. He really doesn't have to prove his love at all. All I can really be concerned about is my part of the equation. How much can I love him without expecting anything in return? How much can I love him without wanting him to change one little thing about himself? This is my sacred contract and I take it very seriously. It is at a soul level and my ego likes to butt in and mess things up good whenever I let my guard down. And I can whine about my hurt feelings with the best of them!
Today is Valentines day. I will not receive a card from my husband. I will not get flowers or candy. But I will have a wonderful dinner this evening with my husband and all of our children at home. Our family's traditional Saturday night steak and french fry dinners are getting farther and farther between with the two eldest away at college. I will enjoy the moments of true love with my family as we gather around our dinner table, telling stories and laughing, teasing and joking. I couldn't ask for anything more. My heart is full.
I wish every one of you whatever it is that fills your heart this Valentines Day.
Oh what a wonderful post and why do we fret over such silly things when we are younger? Have a great evening.
Posted by: susan greene | February 14, 2009 at 08:48 AM
A heart warming essay!
Posted by: Carol@Swallowcliffs | February 14, 2009 at 09:12 AM
very interesting post. and yes, things do look a lot different on the other side of forty :)
Posted by: Christy | February 14, 2009 at 10:18 AM
your collage and journal pages are awesome!
happy valentines day
(and i agree...what is with just the 1 day)
Posted by: mar | February 14, 2009 at 12:40 PM
Perfectly stated. Thank you and Happy Valentine's Day to you and your loved ones. - Betty
Posted by: Betty | February 14, 2009 at 12:47 PM
Happy Valentines day! Love your work and your gorgeous blog. :)
*SOUL HUGS*
Sarah
Posted by: Sarah Whitmire | February 14, 2009 at 02:20 PM
Every relationship is as unique as a snowflake, you know yours, good for you! I'm still loving your valentine though and I actually think I like to give them more than receiving. Go figure....Jim Dine on a small scale!
Posted by: shirley ende-saxe | February 14, 2009 at 02:53 PM
you have a brilliant outlook. i ALWAYS learn something here. here on this little blog of yours that i look forward to reading. it's true, raw, honest, selfless and REAL. beautiful art and beautiful words. thank you for sharing. really. thank you.
kim
xo
Posted by: kim beller | February 14, 2009 at 03:22 PM
Happy Valentines Day Kathleen
My husband and I dont do anything for this day either but, to be honest, in Australia we dont make such a big deal of it as you do in the US. So it was just a nice dinner with the family for us - we dont sit down all together all that often so it was really nice.
Love you collages - am going to create my first collage journal page today - wish me luck!!
Jen
xo
Posted by: Jen | February 14, 2009 at 05:29 PM
Love is found in the simplest of gestures - a kind smile, a gentle touch, the predictable, quirky things our spouses do each day, that "look" that is so familiar, and spending time together. Enjoy your dinner tonight. Your collage is gorgeous and filled with so much passion.
Thanks for coming out to play!
Happy Valentine's Day.
{soul hugs}
k
Posted by: Kathryn - Collage Diva | February 14, 2009 at 05:54 PM
Happy Valentine's Day! I love your post...so very true! I hope you had a lovely day!
Posted by: Thauna | February 14, 2009 at 09:30 PM
Happy Valentines but also Happy Secret Friend Day and All Hearts Day! We don't make much of a fuss either as my Birthday is on the 10th and it gets too overwhelming for my poor mate. So we combine it, the roses he buys for my birthday stand in quite handily for the roses on the 14th. I like the idea of keeping sacred the Every Day (what a wonderful way to phase it and you quoted from my all time fave author, John O Donohue- miss him miss him miss him!) as you so wisely pointed out, those family dinners are getting fewer. I remember one wise soul saying we have to 'fight like tigers' to preserve those days.
Blessings.LN
Posted by: ladynorth | February 14, 2009 at 10:02 PM
What a beautiful post! Happy Valentines Day!
Posted by: Megan Warren | February 14, 2009 at 10:26 PM
What lovely pictures.
Posted by: Judy | February 15, 2009 at 08:18 AM
Your collage is gorgeous.
Posted by: lisa | February 15, 2009 at 09:46 AM