Trusting What Is

The other day my husband and I had a disagreement about how to handle an issue with one of our children.  He takes the aggressive, take no prisoners approach and I opt for the comforting earth mother way.  Seeing the good and pretty much over looking anything I don't want to deal with.  While I understand and embrace the need for these different styles of parenting and the balance they bring to the family in general, I am acutely aware of my own issues which are triggered in these interactions. 

I grew up with a loving but critical father.  I sought to please him at every opportunity and somehow never managed to get that done.  At least I never "felt" I accomplished the mission I had set for myself.  When similar situations arise withing our household, I immediately feel the pain of the criticism I felt as a child.  This has lessened over the years as I have become aware of this energy and I use these situations as a catalyst for my own spiritual healing.  But that  familiar twinge, no matter how small, seeps into the crevices of my soul, longing for relief, always seeking comfort.

While stepping back from the encounter a couple of days ago, I took a nice long bath with a cup of tea.   I had some time for contemplation and to gain a new perspective.  The thought occurred to me, "What if he is right?  What if they need the firm kick in the pants as much as they need a soft place to land?"  That very small little thought, however timely, eased my ache and brought me a fresh reminder of one of my favorite intentions to live by; "everything is always as it should be." 

Comments

[Karen Maezen Miller]

Every time I visit you grace me with your wisdom and faith.

[rivergardenstudio]

I think we marry men that are our opposites in some ways. I love this beautiful collage, the gold warm feeling of it and the mother and child. Reading how you think things out is so helpful... Roxanne

[mansuetude]

i have a friend, a sculptor who bangs metal, he seemed so harsh to me sometimes and i too poetic and sensitive to him; we became great friends. I know he softened from the hours with me, and i have his voice his strenght (his judgement too) inside me; it took a while but it is a gift to me to have both.

sometimes we need another's influence, to help us balance, to see... if i had met my friend inside my husband or father--it might not have been so transformative for me.

thanks also for your note.